Friday, December 30, 2011

नेपाली उखान टुक्काहरू



UKhan TUkka

§   केटाकेटी आए गुलेली खेलाए मट्यङ्ग्राको सत्यानास्?
§   Khai Na Pai Chhaalaa ko Topi Lai
§   Hing Nabhaye Pani Hing Bandheko Taalo chha?
§   Hissa Budi, Khissa Daant?
§   Kaam Paayenas Buhari Paadaako kundo kanya
§   Ghaanti Herera Haad Nilnu?
§   Najaane Gauko Baatai Nasodhnu?
§   Dui Joiko Poi Kunaa pasi roi?
§   Lhasama Sun Chha, Mero Kaan Buchchai?
§   Artha Na Bartha Govinda Gai
§   Jun Goruko sing chaina uskai nam Tikhe?
§   Khane Mukh Lai Junga Le Chhek Daina
§   Kina chauris Mareech afnai piro le?
§   Mukha ma RAM RAM bagali ma chura?
§   Choro paune kaile kaile bhoto siune aile?
§   Andho ko des ma kaano Raja?
§       Ama bhanda chori janne: khukuri bhanda kardha lagne?
§   Nepal janda, kapal sangai?
§   Jun Jogi aaye pani kan chireko?
§   Aakash ko phal aankha tari mal?
§       Haandi ma kanika rahungel raandi lai nindraa laagdaina?
§   Kashi jane Kutti ko baato?
§       Bujhne laai Shrikhanda Nabujhane laai khurpaa ko bid?
§   Jo chor uskai danko thulo shor?
§   Raat bhari karayo Dachina harayo?
§   Na khaun bhane din vary ko shikar khaun bhane Kaanchaa baau ko anuhaar?
§   Kaam kuro eka teera kumlo boki Thimi tira?
§   Alchi Tigro Swadee Jibro?
§   Gheoo Na Tel Paka Budi Sel?
§   आँखालाइ ख्यास् ख्यास्, जिब्रो लाई झ्याइ?
§   Napaune le kera payo bokrai sita khayo
§   Chokta khaana gayeki budhi jhol ma dubera mori?
§   Naya naya byahuli bhaie doli chadhi hagna gae?
§   Gaandi le khayo rayoo ko saag?
§   Nani bhanda aachi thulo?
§   Ek jana radi ko das wata poi marne bela koi na koi?
§   Raat vari karayo dachina harayo?
§   Ke khojchas kano; kankho?
§   Kina chauris marich; affnai piro le?
§   Bujne lai SriKhanda; na-bujne lai khurpa ko bid?
§   Saoon ma ankha futya Goru le sadhaei hariyo dekhcha?
§   Kaaga lai bel pakyo; harsh na bismat?
§   Booka ko mukh ma kubindo?
§   Kukur lai masu paencho?
§   Sap lai dudha na khuwaonu?
§   Baandar ko hath ma nariwal?
§   Kaag ko phul chorne?
§       Baar chora; teera naati; budha ko kumlo kandha mathi?
§   Baar barsa kukur ko puchchar dhungro ma rakheni; jasta ko testae?
§   Choori kuti; buhari tarsaune?
§       Vagya ma cha bhandi ma DOKO ma dudha rahadaina?
§   Baar barsa RAMAYAN padhayo; SITA kaski joeee?
§   Vagyamaani ko bhutaie kamaro?
§   Saap lai dhudha khwaera palna hundaina?
§   Baakhraa ko puchchar khaeko jasto?
§   Cheparoo ko katha jasto?
§   Baato na ghaato; daudincha lato?
§   Joo aguwa; uee baato haguwa?
§   Aarr ka le hatti chadyo bhandai ma; dhuri chdnu hudaina?
§   Ghar ko baagh: baahira ko syaal?
§       Boolnee ko chaamal bikcha: nabolnee ko pitho ni bikdaina?
§   Gaira ko ghar lai paira ko dar; danda ko ghar lai landaaa dar?
§   Baisa ma syaal pani ghorlee huncha?
§   Aarr ka jioo ko jumra dekhne; aafno jioo ko bhaisi pani nadekhne?
§   Haluwa ma baluwa?
§   Jasle maha kaadchha usle haat chatchha?
§   Jun jogi ayeni kaan nai chireko?
§   Affai ta Mahadev uttano tang kasle dela baar?
§   Baahun le chyao khawosna swad pawos?
§   Agulto le polya biralo; bijuli chamkida tarsincha?
§   Bolae na tolae; lule puchchar dolae?
§   Shivaji ko tesro netra jasto?
§   Kashi jane; Kutti ko baato?
§   Lahsa ma sun cha; mero kaan buchchae?
§   Baandar ko puchchar lauro na hatiyar?
§   Raat bhari karayo dachina harayo?
§   Nayaa nayaa behuli bhae DOLI chadi hagna gae?
§   Abhagi hagna basyo char bitta ko kilo pasyo?
§   Raaja ko raaga fukya jasto?
§   Hatti chiryo puchchar adkyo?
§   Kukur lae masu paecho?
§   Chak Chake Baandar ko Chaaka ma daam?
§   Laato khaancha ek baldyaang - Baatho khaancha tin baldyaang?
§   Bhuddhiman lae esaara kaafi?
§       Chan gedaa sabae mera, chaenan geda sabae tedaa?
§   Ghaati herera haad nilnu?
§   Naani bhanda aachi thulo?
§   Gaandi le khayo raayo ko saag?
§   Boolaae na tolaae; lulee puchchar doolaae
§   Maagi Maagi Choro Ko Beehee?
§   Mama ko dhan; phupu ko saradye
§   Baandar lae bharyaang?
§   Kando ko pilo jasto
§   Ek kaan due kaan maedaan
§   Aaye aap; gaye jhataaroo?
§   Aakaash ko phal; aakhaa tari mal?
§   Aushi purne laage jasto
§   Bujhne laae esaaraa kaafi?
§   Chor maathi chakaar?


Ø      राजाको काम चारैतिर बदनाम
Ø      बादरको पुच्छर टाई न इँजार
Ø      तरुनी हुँदा सयवटा पोई,मर्ने बेला कोइ न कोइ ।
Ø      लिवुडको जात्रा तिघ्राको व्यापार।
Ø      सीतैंमा पाये भट्टि रीत्तै ।
Ø      के खोज्छस् नेता ? कुर्सी ।
Ø      घाँटी हेरी हाइनेक किन्नु ।
Ø      रातभरि सराप्यो महाजन त जिउदै ।
Ø      जोगीको घरमा हिप्पी पाहुना ।
Ø      एक पल्ट पकरा्उ परेको चोर पोस्टम्यानलाई देख्दा पनि भाग्छ ।
Ø      भुक्ने कुकुर भुकिरहन्छ टोक्ने कुकुर सुतिरहन्छ ।
Ø      जँहा केरा उहिँ मदिसे को देरा ।
Ø      रातभरि पढ्यो जाँचमा चाहिँ लड्यो ।
Ø      मुर्ति चोर लाई पशुपति न गुहेश्वरी ।
Ø      बाहुन को टुप्पी एन्टेना न एरियल ।
Ø      कस्ता कस्ता आन्दाेलनमा गए नपत्याउनेहरु घरमा ।
Ø      Which Bull No Horn, That Bull Horny (जुन गोरु को सिङ छैन तेस्को नाम तिखे ।)
Ø      राजाको मति १२ बर्ष प्रजातन्त्रमा राखे पनि बाँङ्गाको बाँङ्गै ।
Ø      खाई न पाई दौरामाथि टाई ।
Ø      नपाउनेले के पायो काक्रोलाई चियामा चोबेर खायो ।
Ø      आजकालका केटी स्टाइलको भारी
Ø      टाउकोमा भने डिस्को गर्ने जुम्राको ढाडी ।
Ø      आमा बाबुलाई समस्या टार्न गार्हो
Ø      छोराछोरीलाई भने स्टाईल नै प्यारो
Ø      श्रीमती कति बाठी
Ø      बोका स्टाईलको केश काटी
Ø      तोङ्बा तान्ने छोरालाई ईन्द्रको बाउ चन्द्र आए पनि छेक्न सक्दैन् ।
Ø      प्रेमिकाले छोडेको कहिले कहिले
Ø      लभलेटर लेख्छन् आहिले
Ø      घिच्न जान्दैनन् पकाउनेलाई दोष ।
Ø      दाह्रि हेरि शेभ गर्नु ानुहार हेरि प्रेम गर्नु ।
Ø      आमा पनि ब्युटी छोरि पनि ब्युटी
Ø      बाउले गर्नु पर्ने चुलाको ड्युटी
Ø      जुत्ताको माला लगाएको नेता छाला देख्दा तर्सन्छ ।
Ø      प्रशासनमा घुसखोरी
Ø      जनता बोल्दैनन् मुख फोरी ।
Ø      जेठी बुढीको राम्रो कुरा तितो
कान्छीको चाहिँ झटारो नै मिठो ।

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Monday, November 28, 2011

रमाइला एस.एम.एस.हरू



Rocket & Plane
Plane says: ” yaar Rocket timi yati chhito kasari udan sakchhau? 
Rocket: “yo ta usalailai nai thaha hunchha jasko chakhma aago lageko hos….
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Boy: wah kya sandle chha timro .
Girl: kholu kya.
Boy: tyo bhanda ramro timro t-shirt chha .
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Girls Hostel warden call Electric office & Complains: “aaj ta keta pathai dinus  ketiharu re 3 din dekhi Mombatti le kaam chalai  rahechha.!!” 

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yaar 1986 ko girl; Mom jeans paint lagau ?
 Mom: hunna chhori manchhele k bhanchha
.
2008 k0 girl: Mom mini skirt kagau ?
 Mom; laga chhori laga kehi ta laga.
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Hamaro Dosti koi rugha khoki hoina jo aayera 2/4 din mai jaosh, yo to HIV Aids jastai ho  jo ek patak bhaye

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1 ketile aafno weight napi raheko thiyo – 58 kg,
sandal kholyo -56kg,
jacket kholyo -53kg,
sal  kholyo -52kg,
keti “sikke sidiyo…..
chheuko bhikhari – “timi nap lidai jau sikka ma dinchhu.”
  _________________________________________________________________

A lady to another lady: Jab tero divorce bhayeko thiyo taba euta matra bachha thiyo tara ahile 3 wata, kasari?
She says: waha kahile kahi mafi magna aaunu hunchha……

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Chhora  – Buba keta harule kina bihe garchhan ?
Buba – Kinaki mare pachhi narka pani swaga jasto lagosh bhaner .

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Pahila hathle ramro sanga pakad
Mukhle bistarai chush ,
Thuk lagau,
Bistarai vitra chhirau
Ek dui patak garo hunchha
Ek dui patak kosis gare pachhi chhirchha,…..
….Kati garo hunchha siyo ma dhago chhiraun.cac

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Ek patak elephantko  nude boy sanga bhet bhayo . elephant le manchhelai kehi chhin herer bhanyo ” Timi yati sano kij bat kasari sash ferchhau “.

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Fool bhanda sundar kehi chhain,
Sagarmatha bhanda aglo kehi chhain,
Sagar bhanda gahiro kehi chhain,
Ab timro k taarif garu …..Sathima timi jasto nalayak kohi chhaina…….

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Bihe pachhi sriman srimati sikka ko dui pato hunchhan,
Jo ek arka lai herna chahadain tara pani jiwan bhar sangai baschhan
  _________________________________________________________________

Boy:jau kunai sunsaan thauma
Girl:timi yasto usto harkat ta gardai nau ni ?
Boy: promise gardina !
Girl:hoss,tyaso bhaye kina jane  
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gadima husband aafno wifelai:
timi sanga bihe garera pachhatai rahechhu lagchha talai KUKUR ko agaadi chhodi diu
 chheuko  passenger :woo wao wao wao!!!    
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pahila KISS gara,
pheri PALANGma sutaau,
ani kattu khola,
ani MUNI  haath lagau,
ra check gara k
BABY le SU SU ta gareko chhaina .    
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Ek pakta garana  plz..
kasailai bhandina ma plz..
plz gara na gara……..
malai mazza aauchha …
ek palta hamro mitrataa ko lagi bhaye pani
gara na plzz…
euta lovely  SMS!!!    
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two men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“hoina my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”   
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Pahila unale utaro sari
fere utaro petikot
blouse ta pahike nai utari sakeko thiyo
duty mindzyadah excited na hau
uale sukeko kapada uthai raheko thiyo ….!       
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Ek bachchaa janmane bitikai nurselai bhayo mobile 6?
..Nurse: kina mobile?
..Bacha: kehi hoina GODlai miscall garnu thiyo ramrai sanga aai puge bhanera.
  
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A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha chhu 5 rupiya dinusa
“Husband said 2 his wife- deu deu, timilai sundari bhanyo bhane har halma andha ho.
  
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Marriage is

like
going to a
Resturant..
U order
Your choice
from
the menu,
and then
look at the
neighbouring table and wish
“KAASH…
yo orser gareko bhaye hunthiyo” 

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Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: ma pagal bhai halchhu!
Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: pagal je pani garna sakchha

In both case you feel “ajhai kehi parkheko bhayo ajha ramro model pauthe”
2.What’s the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE - 

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Wifelai Thappar hirkaye pabchhi risayer husbandlai bhanyo”manchhele usailai hirkauchha jasalai usale maya garchha.”
Wifele husbandlai 2 jhapad hirkayera bhanyo “tapai k samjhinu hunchha ke matapailai maya gardina.